Twisted Logic, E-mail #2, & my response. I'm getting kinda bored with this, I hope she gives up soon.

“drop every friend you ever hurt, justifying it by claiming that they hurt you at some point too” *sigh* you Never listen do you? You STILL seem to have the misguided idea that I stopped being friends with you over the whole Greg thing, or even the Cory thing. Nope, try again. Like I Said in my email to you, you've changed. I'm not talking about in the past few months since you've been "trying to adjust to a lot more work than I am used to". No. Compared to the person you were when I met you, years ago, you have become someone that I no longer Want to be friends with.

I have no problem acknowledging my faults Erin, I have many. Several I'm aware of and, I'm sure, plenty I'm not. Admittedly, saying I'm sorry is one of them. But then, I'm not sorry for what I did, and therefore Will Not apologize for it.

EVER.

“I make mistakes and sometimes I do things that hurt other people and I have no problem admiting [sic] to this fact.” Very true. You are SO willing to admit to having problems, but you never do anything about them. You keep making the same mistakes over and over. I'm sick of being your therapist Erin, and I'm pretty sure everyone else is too. I’m sick of seeing you manipulate the people around you, and try to manipulate me. You do it to all of your friends; you call it being “generous” at the time. Later you expect people to do things for you, be sympathetic to all of your causes and ideas, to hang out with you rather than others, just because you gave them things or money. It’s just like what you did with Doug, trying to buy his affection, and guilt tripping him constantly.

“As much as I may like to sink to your level and say a lot of terrible things about you,” which, strangely enough, you Do two sentences later. We’re all sick of hearing about how you are so much better than everyone else, get off your damned High Horse. Going to a university Doesn’t make you a genius, and looking down on people because they haven’t gone to college doesn’t make you any smarter. It makes you narrow-minded and ignorant. It’s one of the ways that you’ve changed. “a tendency for whineyness [sic]” Oh, honey. It is Way more than a tendency with you, it’s an entire lifestyle.

You have it completely backwards, I didn’t “drop a friendship because I fucked up” I told Cory what I did because I didn’t Care what your reaction was. I thought she should know, and you and I already weren’t friends. I stopped considering you a friend months ago. When I realized that you were a bad friend. Yeah, maybe subconsciously, my only purpose in telling Cory was to stir up drama for you. But then, you didn’t have to rise to the occasion, did you? You Need a big dramatic scene to end things. I’ve seen you do it over and over. If there isn’t one, with you as the wronged party at the center of attention, you create one. “but if ending our friendship is really what you want, please don't come out of it thinking that your [sic] some martyr” I don’t think I can even take this statement seriously coming from you. It’s so hypocritical it’s uncanny.

“Why is it that no matter what happens, you always have to be in the right?” I never said I was right. I said I don’t care. I know you can't let anything die, and the only way to get through to you is to shock you into paying attention. But I really just don't care about you anymore. You are worthless. There are more important things in my life for me to deal with, than you and your bullshit drama. Perhaps what I'm trying to say is this: I'm over it. I'm over you. Have a nice life. Leave me the fuck alone you raving psycho.

~Loren Zeman

--- Bonnie Parker wrote:

> What the fuck?! Why is it, that no matter what happens, you always have to be in the right? Like I was in your reaction to my mention of being upset about what happened at Munchies, again I am a little confused by your reaction to this. You make a mistake (and no matter how you may justify it to yourself, telling something I specifically requested you to keep to yourself is a mistake) and instead of simply saying your sorry, you disown me?! Going back to the Greg/Munchies thing... Yes, I shouldn't have slept with Greg, but you were encouraging me to and you guys had been broken up for over a month when it happened! You specifically and repeatedly told me that I should comfort him and that it didn't bother you. And, since it did upset you (and if I had had any inkling that it would, it wouldn't have happened in the first place) you should have talked to me about it, not to a bar full of people. As far as friends you lost- you never told me about that and I'm sorry it happened; I'm pretty certain that I thanked you many times for being there for me through that horrible time because I knew a lot of people were talking a lot of shit. I lost a lot of friends over that whole situation too- they heard only Doug's side and he was being a dick. As far as "secrets" go, what secrets of your's did I share with anyone? I don't recall any time in which you told me not to tell anyone something and I betrayed your trust and did. If there was such an occasion, then I most sincerely appologize (because unlike you, I can admit to being wrong sometimes), but do you think that justifies your actions? What made you so certain that Cory needed to know? Why did she need to know? Was there any purpose that was being fulfilled in telling her, other than starting a bunch of shit? Coming back to the issue of secrets- I never said that this was a secret, per se, but is it really unreasonable for one to have private elements of their lives that they only share with one or two people with whom they are closest? Again, perhaps this does come down to my poor discretion. This is probably the biggest difference between us: I can acknowledge that sometimes I fuck up. I'm sure I haven't always been the perfect friend and I'm sure that some of your bitterness and anger is justified. You see, I'm human, and I make mistakes and sometimes I do things that hurt other people and I have no problem admiting to this fact. Usually though, I will be the first to admit when I screw up and will appologize and do what I can to try to fix the situation. I felt terribly when I saw how upset you were about Greg. I was frankly shocked because it was not at all consistent with everything you had said and done up to that point, but I do realize that emotions are tricky things and extremely hard to predict and when I realized how hurt and betrayed you felt (and apparently- sorry I don't recall saying what you quoted- I stated it poorly in the phone call) and I kicked myself to hell and back for making a bad decision (though it WAS supported by all parties involved). Yes, I screwed up, but Loren, what you might never admit to yourself, is that you did too. You told me to sleep with him and then you freaked out at me when I did and told everyone at the bar that i was some bitch of a friend sleeping with your exe behind your back when that simply wasn't how it happened. I hate to tell you this, Loren, but you're human and make mistakes and sometimes hurt people too and perhaps what is most frustrating about you is that you are unable or unwilling to own up to this fact. Instead of refusing to speak to me for a year (and you are right it wasn't 2- there were 6 months before you left and then you had been in Guam for about 8 months when you IMed me that first time), all you needed to do was say "I didn't think I would react this badly and I should have come to you to talk about it- sorry about telling everyone." I wasn't that mad, just hurt that you did such a 180 on the whole thing and couldn't even come to me about it. And coming back to the situation with Cory, I'm sorry to say it, but you were in the wrong and no quantity of wrongs I have comitted (and most of them, I've hopefuly appologized for) makes what you did ok. You betrayed my trust and instead of simply admiting that you screwed up and appologizing (and though you've never given me a chance, I move on from things surprisingly quickly), you have written me this shitty email which apparently justifies your actions?! As far as how I've "changed." I am still trying to adjust to a lot more work than I am used to and I appologize if I have been blowing my stress out sideways. I never meant to complain so much because I am actually very happy with where my life is going. I'm sorry that you view me so horribly and I guess if what you wrote is truly what you feel and not just written out of anger, then I have to tell you that it really hurts my feelings and I think that in the end you are the true bitch in that you would pretend to be such a close friend for so many years while harboring so much bitterness. As much as I may like to sink to your level and say a lot of terrible things about you, the fact is that I always have and still do love you. Your pride and inability to acknowledge faults is a pretty ugly weakness (I would argue equal to mine, which you so profusely expounded upon), but as I said before, we are all human and have our own unique fuck-ups. Hopefuly some day you will mature enough to realize yours and maybe work on it to be a better person. IF you think about it, dropping a friendship because you fucked up, while it allows you to come out on top and to avoid having to admit that maybe, just maybe, you were wrong, is a pretty fucked up thing. God, if you drop every friend you ever hurt, justifying it by claiming that they hurt you at some point too, you just might end up with no one, but since you are better than everyone around you and apparently incable of making mistakes, maybe that is for the best too. I suppose it is probably unlikely that you will even read this since your pride maintains that you get in the last word and avoidance (as was demonstrated with the Greg/Munchies situation) seems to be your favorite way of dealing with things. Of course, regardless of your reasons, you have a right to make that decision, but if ending our friendship is really what you want, please don't come out of it thinking that your some martyr and I'm a bad person who was a waste of your time in the first place because that is simply not true. I have my faults and a tendency for whineyness is probably one of them, but you can't say we never shared a good thing, nor can you say that I have been any worse a friend to you than you have been to me. I will miss you and hope that if you ever get over this bullshit, you'll know that the door will always be open to you- unlike you, I can move on from things. If all goes well and I get into U. of Maine, I'll be gone in 8 months or so at which point our friendship would have been forced to dwindle anyhow, so perhaps this is for the best. Again, I'm sorry you feel the way you do. > Erin